when i moved into the city from my small town of only 1000 people in michigan, one of the things i was confronted with that i never dealt with before was panhandling. no one had ever asked me for money on the street back home. we didn't have a lot of poverty, and those who were poor simply didn't ask for money from people they didn't know. now, in DC, i get asked for money on a nearly daily basis. it's a tough thing to deal with for me, because i'm a pretty shy person, and talking to random people whom i don't know on the street is just uncomfortable for me regardless. if they want something from me, it just makes me that much more uncomfortable. now, typing this out on the internet, and talking to potentially many, many people whom i don't know isn't a problem. the whole face to face thing makes a BIG difference, doesn't it?
anyway, i was outside enjoying the cool air tonight, and a guy walked up and asked if he could clean the truck in front of my place for some money. i told him it wasn't my truck (it's not, it belongs to someone a couple doors down), but i don't think he believed me. he finally said he was just hungry, and wanted some food. now, if someone asks me for money (see
this), i'm apt to say no, and that's that. but i was raised to be a good christian, and to look out for those less fortunate than me. i'm not rich by anyone's definition of the word, but i'm not starving either, and that's what this guy told me he was (starving). so, i walked with him up to the chinese place next to windows cafe and bought him what he wanted (seven chicken wings with fried rice).
i've been out with my friend frank when he's bought dinner for someone in need, and i've seen people's eyes light up when someone takes the time to help them. i'd like to think i've done the same, but here's my problem. i still feel so uncomfortable dealing with someone asking for money. how do you say no to someone without feeling a touch guilty. i'm still not going to give someone cash so they can just go off and spend it on something destructive. but i don't want to be eaten up by guilt for being selfish either. am i being selfish/stingy for not helping people out, or am i being taken advantage of when i do? all questions that i think about....